I want to grow... not keep going in circles...

Something has been festering in me for awhile. I heard a phrase once, long ago, and took it as true because at the time, I believed it was supported by other facts I later changed my thinking about, but it never set right deep in me. Later, I decided it wasn't true but I understood why the people that believed it did. Then, the phrase kept coming out of my mouth as a joke. It was what I said to be sarcastic about such absurdity. It was used and produced hurt and blame, so I used it as sarcasm to ease that pain. However, the more I said it, I decided that I actually do believe it. And, it has so much power behind it. If I could only believe it fully, it would change everything. That is the short version...


Now for the Long version:



Here's the phrase, "You are the common denominator"



The first time I ever heard this, it was in the context of something in an individual that makes everyone they come in contact with treat them different then usual, but universally the same. You are the common denominator. For example, if you are angry all the time, you will treat everyone you come into contact with rudely, or you'll misplace your anger. Most likely, everyone around you will put up guards or just get too busy thus treating you differently. Therefore, there is something in you that you need to change (your anger) bc you are the common denominator of people putting up guards or avoiding you.

{I understand how this does make sense… but this is not refering to what it is, but about how to produce change, I’m talking about advice given to me hoping for a change in me and a state of mind that impacted me for way to long}

After agreeing with it for awhile, I decided I did not agree with this as a true statement to store in my heart. It never seemed to do any good. I guess when first changing my mind, I just kinda knew it was wrong, believing it didn’t produce anything Godly. Just rebellion really. There was really just mixed messages. “You are aweful. I love you!” Just doesn’t really go together…

{At this point it got easy to find examples in the lives of the people who would say this where they were common denominators. *this was wrong of me!* In order to defend myself from the hurt inflicted by someone else pointing out my failure, I would judge them and their lives and justify why them telling me where my shortcomings were didn’t matter. We all do it, some more then others, but once falling into that judgmental state of mind… it was like a bog, or quicksand. Those people no longer had any say as to what went into my heart. Even if you say the most wise and profound statements, if you are a jerk, you almost become useless, because nobody wants to receive from someone they can’t respect. There is fault at both ends of that, I think.}



After a little while, I would randomly think about this special phrase. It would just turn in my mind. Turn and turn. That’s when I decided I do agree with it, totally believe it. But, there is one thing off and as we know, if even one thing is off, it ruins the whole loaf.

The statement, “You are the common denominator” I totally agree with, but when I think about it, it gives me power! It gives me opportunity! It gives me hope. All fine characteristics of God with very positive products. So it has to be in a different way then the connotation originally designated to it.

{I also want to include I don't think one can "fix" themselves. A lifetime of screwing that up has taught me God changes your heart when you submit yourself to Him and His ways. So pointing out flaws is good for one thing. Finding a root inside and dealing with it between you and God. Or so I've found...}

It’s never difficult to look at life and say, “Why is this happening to me?!?!” You can always find the bad things in life to dwell on. Before you know it, you are on the floor crying, wondering who can help you make your life livable… just someone to call. Someone to beg to help you when you don’t even know what exactly is wrong. When you hit rock bottom, you look for a starting point. Where did things go wrong. Am I this common denominator? Did I do all this to myself?


What is this that is within myself to blame. Let’s face it, that is a long list! Going through all of this in my head, wondering how to make it disappear long enough to put myself back together just a little bit. Even if just enough to get to step two.


But then He whispered it to me. “You are the common denominator.”


No, not that list of problems… my TRUE identity. It was my flesh, looking at itself, that made that long list of failures (and performed them top quality)! It was my flesh that can still remember every sin I struggle with in HD. It is also my flesh that thinks she can fix those things, that I can do anything to better myself…


But it’s NOT who I am.


Who I am is awesome when I am most naturally myself. I am fun, outgoing, energetic, spontaneous, unique and one of the best people to have around! But most importantly, I am washed clean of all sin past, present, and future. I am also His ambassador on this earth so I have everything of His that I need at my disposal.



So why was this awesome, pure, remade image of Christ sunk down fetal position trying to find reasons to get up again? Because my old flesh was my common denominator, and you will never live life as God intended like that. When He whispered that, I saw everything through the new eyes seeing myself as I really am. Washed, clean, and free to be the unique individual that He made me to be. I am the common denominator and I will bring MYSELF into all the areas of my life and to everyone I encounter.