What to listen to...

What consumes my mind?

hmmm... probably worship... songs... church... relationships... my kids... God... my marriage... my home... my job... obligations and commitments... projects...

All these topics have subtopics and under those more topics.

The only thing in the list that should consume my mind is God and having a relationship with Him. He then subtopics all those in the right place at the right time... but that's not really how it works. I think about how to improve or perform at my utmost excellence everything I do and then add His opinion in when needed. At one point or another, I was taught that as a Christian, that's what we do. There was a line I heard recently that said "And even when i don't know what to do, I'll cast all my cares upon you" and let me tell you, crying out to God in times of need haven't been to much of a problem for me... it's all the other times. Casting my cares when I have plenty of ideas of what I could do but those idea's may not be the Lord's will or the most direct path to the best thing for my life. God doesn't want me to petition His opinion when I don't know what to do, He wants me to talk to Him about everything so that He can help me choose the best path to go down even when it looks like it's not the best. It is because He said it is. But do I trust Him? EVEN WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES OR SURROUNDINGS

SHOW ME DIFFERENTLY, I will trust him.

*I am not saying that I dislike that song, I am merely pointing out what the Lord showed me during it. It is a great song to encourage someone willing to lay down their pride that God is there to help.

From Bondage: I cry out to the Lord when my heart is heavy and think about His opinion when I can't handle what I have.
To Freedom: I keep my eyes on the Lord at ALL times, and He will direct my path bad AND good... plus the above ;)

ps- This one is gonna take awhile to get down to my heart. I want it, but choosing to think on the Lord when it's so easy to think on other things is difficult sometimes. God help me, I need it.

I'm seeing things...

I woke up this morning after rough night last night at 6:00 am... anyone who knows me knows this is torturous...

I woke with a vision and feel i need to share it.

I saw a mighty rushing river that was not noisy as I moved back slowly, I saw three pillars close up and I thought that I wanted to be one so as I was thinking "God, make me a pillar to stand against the floods" God says " You don't want to be one of those... they hardly feel me (the flood) and don't recognize that it (the flood) is Me moving all around them."

Then I got another one...

The previous pic was in the palm of Gods hand. "They may not be in my will, but they are in my hand". (Speaking of the pillars)

I wrote this because so many people would have the first thought of "This is about so and so!" (Someone other then themselves) If that is you, this is for you. You need to be washed. :) (Like how i add in the smile to make it a little easier to take?)

The Lord has been showing me a lot lately about how He wants His mighty Spirit to wash clean the hearts of people and basically get all the junk out that is putting blinders on them. We are His chosen people need to stop living so judgmentally. (yes, this was givin to me bc it's about me too!) ;)

Last Sunday I was trying to lead worship and I had a vision of a record playing but it had a metal clasp on it. Every time it would circle around playing music until it got to the metal clasp, then that would jump the needle making the music bump so that you never get a complete cycle. This was me last Sunday and I know exactly why. I have so much knowledge about my surroundings that every time I'd start to minister, my needle would jump and I'd be reset at zero. I prayed "God help me get the clasp off" and he said "it's in your heart, you're the one who has to release it". And slowly, I am. That clasp represents a safety wall I have built to stop people from effecting my heart. It also stops the flow of the Spirit. I can not be effective if there is ANY wall on my heart. Anytime I am it's because I have broken it down.

I realize this open exposure about me would give some people power or ammunition to use against me, and if you feel like it does for you, shame on you for being so far from the Lord's heart. :) (yes, another smiley face to ease your pain)

From Bondage: I am trying so hard to be strong that I'm missing the Spirit...
To Freedom: The Spirit of God is all around me always, I'm releasing myself to it...


*After I wrote and published this, i realized something about this message that was personal to me... When my vision started, it was so close up to the pillars that i couldn't see the water around them very well. The focus on my life shouldn't be the pillars, it should be ONLY God. Period. (Trying to decide if i need another smiley face)
*You know what the difference between pillars and trees are? trees have roots.

Not showing off how you "hear from the Lord"

I decided to cont through Gal 6 because I need to force my mind to think about God. So much is happening in my life making me reevaluate who I look up to and see the God I know in. That's a scary place because it is exactly what I have been blogging about not doing! Obviously, this is still in my heart.

Gal 6:6

Let him who receives instruction in the Word [of God] share all good things with his teacher [contributing to his support].

This verse says the receiver of the Word is learning from God. Then sharing with his "teacher". Kinda like when a child does a math problem, and a teacher checks it. The teacher teaches the child to do math, the child does it, then the teacher checks it. But then the child grows up and no longer needs a teacher for that teacher would become a crutch. Instead the teacher turns into a co-worker. He is still there for support but it is mutual. The student can now help the "teacher" when need be. It seems that once a teacher teaches how to receive from God, they are just there to encourage the receiver and help them stay on the right track!

Another thing, It only talks about receiving good things! We receive awesome truths about God(aka love), tell all the good stuff we learn (because it's only going to be good if it's God), then because of the reaction of our hearts to God's goodness, we respond in every area of our lives with that same goodness that God first extended to us.

This is the way I see my life. The only way for true change or repentance to take place is in my heart (Out of the heart flow the issues of life). I just don't understand when anyone suggests to change my actions as though it would affect anything other then my frustration level with every failing! I really did try so long doing it backwards. This just makes sense.

*I am aware that this verse doesn't necessarily teach all that, but this is my blog about what the Lord is telling me along with His scripture. I love the way God works gentle, loving, always there for me, never a jerk... I know my God.

Sometimes running everything through the filter of the cross is difficult for me bc it goes against what i have been taught at some point throughout my life or what i see with my eyes constantly from Christians. This is also having lived my whole life evaluating Christians and that's probably why it's so difficult to stop looking at their performances and just seeing them as God does.

Seeing with my heart sometimes has no example. It's pure faith that that's the way it would look if Jesus did it. For example, in worship, I have felt the Spirit move and the authority some people sing with but I have never seen with my eyes, what happens, just the results and I can feel it. To step out on faith and let the Lord lead me to say things I have never said before is new territory for me, yet the Lord has brought me here, and He'll keep with me no matter what...

What a good God.

From Bondage: I have to follow a man to teach me about God...
To Liberty: I can enjoy my fellow Christians because I know God Himself...

Ah HAH!

I have a ponder I have been pondering for a LONG time. Kinda on along the same lines as some of the previous posts. The whole judging business. Of course God says not to so therefore one shouldn't, but I have been thinking about some of the reasons why it's a really bad idea. The best solution is to see people as God sees them. Perfect. This is what I have decided for myself to help me not to keep falling for judging people. When we make a judgment about someone, it effects everything we think about them. This is actually a crippling effect for the person but is often defended as "guarding oneself". If I meet someone who is extremely codependent, it's considered "wise" to keep your distance so as to not protect you and them. The ONLY way that is wisdom is if God specifically tells you to do that. The reality is you are confirming that as part of their identity to them making it more difficult to see the real identity they have in Christ.

I was once told that I was just acting kind doing expressions i see as love because I was codependent and this person told me they didn't want that kind of relationship. The truth is that the person who told me that was codependent on people and trying to get out of being that way themselves. (You can sometimes tell someone is struggling with something bc they 1- Defend it without needing to or 2- Project that one you.) I didn't know any better so I took it and that lie absolutly messed me up for a LONG time! I didn't know what codependent meant, but as time passed, i realized that it wasn't true and that they had written on my heart by me accepting what they said rather then what God said about me and I eventually repented. Even if what they said was true, it wouldn't make this different. Even if I was co-dependent, that was judging me. Now a big question... do I hold them responsible... no. Blaming them gives them a power in my own head and it's also the same as judging them. I CHOOSE to see them as God sees them. Perfect. Now, when I see them, I don't think "They are messed up in _____ way" Nor do i think i can try and help them, I can appreciate them for who they really are, treat them that way, let them see my actions as affirmations of God's love working in their hearts, and proving how not all relationships are co-dependent!

I have decided that if I have time to figure out what is going on with he people around me, I am not using my time wisely and it's not what God wants. If I am CONSTANTLY listening for the Lord's directions, then every second of my time is gonna be in His will. I must face it, discussing other people, is a waist of everybody's time and it actually says much MUCH more about me then I would want anybody to know.

If our God looked at us like that, we wouldn't have been worth saving. And if He doesn't see us like that, what gives anybody the right to.

So, I repent from seeing people, EVERYONE, like the world would see them, and just see them as God does, perfect.

From bondage: I see the truth about you.
To Liberty: I see someone I love, nothing more... nothing less.

There is change in the air... dodge the quarters...

You know what is so funny... How I will realize that I am screwing up at something... then be in inner turmoil about it until I feel like I have served my time or until it finally hits me that it's not that big of a deal, then I try to fix others around me in the same area because i feel so stupid about falling for such a stupid screw up and i'd feel a whole lot better if other people were going through the same thing... then i get annoyed bc people aren't changing... then i stop... assess myself and my motives... realized this paragraph of truth... take a quick second to laugh at how silly of a human i am... then submerge my mind into truth. God Loves Me. Period. When you put in the rest of the distractions of life, yes, i can see why this cycle keeps going, but i really love how God isn't going "why aren't you getting this!" HE is so good, that he merely giggles with me and sends wave after wave of love to my heart and my soul.

Last night As i was laying in my bed, i was imagining a beach completely empty of people and trash, just sand and water. That water just keeps coming and coming. The ocean is constantly changing the sand. That sand could never be the same even if it desperately wanted to. It is constantly changing the landscape, but so gently you hardly notice a difference with each wave. Each wave is actually carrying out sand that may have been on that beach for years, and bringing in sand that has spent time in the ocean. Sand that if it were alive could give testimony to 100s of aspects of the ocean.

I see this as applicable in many different ways, and I'm going to leave it to the Lord to reveal Himself to each person.