I told everybody that I am "stepping down" from our worship team 2 weeks ago. I have been on the other side of this before, and know this can't happen without talk and rumors, but what God is doing on my side is WAY to big to let that get in the way!
I did this because God told me to. The vision He gave me, what He is telling me to do, is a different direction then what the worship team vision is, so it kinda makes sense that this should happen! I will need all my energy and focus for this new pursuit for the Kingdom :)
I don't have a completely clear idea of what God wants but following him with baby steps is better then not following Him at all. I am so excited about this though. Once I made the decision to be faithful, I've been getting a few more baby-steps at a time and it almost feels like I'm flying forward, every baby-step feels like a leap!
The main thing that I know is God wants to LOVE on Cookeville. He wants people to be able to worship Him and let Him minister to them where they are in their life walk without having to worry about anything! I may be dreaming big, but this is God's dream and I am merely catching onto it. The word that comes to mind is "Echo". I just want God's goodness to bounce off of me and out to any and all people who want it. Don't misunderstand, this is not about me, at least I don't want it to be. This is GOD. Anything good is just a replica of Him. I am well aware that It is not my abilities that God loves the most about me ;)
I know if God gave me a clear vision of what is to come, I'd get too excited, lose any patience, and try and do it myself. But just imagine... those small moments when you decide to give every single bit of you up, lay it down, just surrender to His will... NOTHING is impossible then... anything can happen! :)
I was telling a complete stranger about this the other day, and this person said "Oh my gosh! I feel the same way!" They went on to talk about how they are getting a passion for all the things that I want and I never even said anything about those things!!!! I'm not going to get too excited bc then I'll want to just GO GO GO!!! But I am so happy with God's orchestration :)
It's so ironic how this almost seems like a step backwards. I had a month long of "Are you sure?" to God. Stepping down off a worship team and all the ministry involvement almost seems like a step in the wrong directions, and finally God said "It's holding you back" Wow... that was interesting to receive... but God's heart is pure. Noble. Loving. He wasn't saying the team I was on was awful and terrible, He was saying, I am no longer in the right place and that I need to follow Him if I want to progress personally! What a great God! For anyone willing, He wants to take you up from where you are and lead you through the best path for your life! That may be a physical change... or just a mental change. Changing your mindset can sometimes be the most freeing! :)
A friend recently posted Psalm 23:1-6 on facebook
and as I read it, I was put at peace about every decision I am making. This is God's way for me. This is His perfect plain being walked out by a human (me) who can definitely make mistakes... but I'm willing :) As I read it, it was made so personal to me:
Jessica,
1-3 I am your shepherd! You don't need a thing apart from me.
I have bedded you down in lush meadows,
I find you quiet pools to drink from.
True to my word,
I let you catch your breath
... and send you in the right direction.
4 Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
Don't be afraid
when I am walking at your side.
My trusty shepherd's crook
makes you feel secure.
5 I serve you a six-course dinner
right in front of your enemies.
I revive your drooping head;
Your cup brims with blessing.
6 My beauty and love chase after you
every day of your life.
You are back home in the house of God
for the rest of your life.
psalms 23
Thank you, Father!
Well... That's the latest in my life :)
From Bondage: Wrong road!!!
To Liberty: Right road!!!
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